Former English Major Screams, Sets Hair on Fire, Runs Into Traffic

I just read this in one of my semi-spammy SitePro News emails:

“People who have certain remote spyware programs installed on their machines are literally sitting ducks.”

So people spontaneously transmogrify into waterfowl if they have remote spyware on their machines? The duck population will skyrocket. Seriously, people, we have to do something about the gross misuse of the word “literally.” It should only be used in a situation where it deactivates figurative language. You can only say “literally” if your statement is logically true. Saying that people are “literally sitting ducks” means that people are ducks. This idiocy must be stopped; it’s literally an epidemic.

Oh yeah, and the article was titled “The Ten Truth’s About Spyware.” Shoot me now.