Moss Gathered

Roling Stone made a list of the 100 Greatest Guitarists of all Time.

Whoop-de-doo.

This from the magazine that put Britney Spears on the cover twice in one year for no apparent reason other than tits and ass. I’m supposed to consider this magazine a credible source on guitar playing? I’ve always had very little musical respect for Rolling Stone, and now I have even less if that’s at all possible. This was the magazine of Hunter Thompson and Cameron Crowe. I’d even cite Ben Fong-Torres and Jan Wenner as influential people in the topic of music and culture. These are people for whom the very concept of a Top 100 List is beneath their sensibilities as writers. And if such a journalistically odious task were forced upon them, they would no doubt endeavor to do a more thoughtful job than the current staff.

I’m not complaining about their choices – every man and woman on the list is their own genius, but the rankings appear to be bereft of any criteria whatsoever. Otherwise, why would Duane Allman be #2 and Randy Rhoads be #85? Or Eddie Van Halen #70 – Eddie Van Halen dominated guitar playing for over a decade, his influence almost as wide as Hendrix. He’s easily in the Top 10 for the criteria of influence, creativity, originality, and technique. Are they just trying to get under my skin? Vicious bastards. I’m not even going to bother linking to their crap; that would generate publicity, and that’s all they’re trying to do.

The very idea of ranking artists is inherently absurd, but just so that you, my blog-reading public (all two of you), can be set straight on a better approximation of the facts from a better source than the hacks at Rolling Stone, here are the Top 10 Greatest (Rock) Guitarists. I add “Rock” because there are too many astounding flamenco, classical, and jazz players on whom I’m not qualified to pontificate:

1. Jimi Hendrix
2. Eddie Van Halen
3. Eric Clapton
4. Jimmy Page
5. Jeff Beck
6. Robert Johnson
7. Keith Richards / Ron Wood / Brian Jones (Rolling Stones)
8. Kirk Hammett / James Hetfield (Metallica)
9. Kurt Cobain
10. Steve Vai

My criteria are influence, originality, and technical ability, in that order. My primary source being the 13 years of exposure I’ve had to the opinions and articles of numerous and sundry guitar magazines, all of whom have, at one time or another, attempted such list-making folly in their off-peak months. And for those of you, who like myself, care little for popular things, here’s my list of peripheral guitarists that should be heard more often and given more press:

1. Shawn Lane (buy a Shawn Lane disc – he’s in the hospital right now and will need the help with bills)
2. Eric Johnson
3. Steve Morse
4. Richie Kotzen
5. Blues Saraceno
6. Mike Keneally
7. Paul Gilbert
8. Michael Hedges
9. Michael Manring (bassist)
10. Wayne Krantz

And the Award Goes to…

Jo AwardAs I was leaving work on Friday, Jo told me that I was the coolest guy she’s met online. That’s always nice to hear, as I assume she’s met several people online. Maybe I’m wrong. So I thought, “that’s such a nice thing to have said about me, I think I’m going to write that on a certificate and present it to myself.” Well instead I goofed off in Photoshop and made this thing. I would’ve spent more time on it to make it more clever, but I’ve had other stuff to do this weekend like being sick and studying for the LSAT.

Sickness and Good Bass

Is it Cold and Flu Season already? Perhaps it’s the recent temperature drop around here, or maybe it’s because I haven’t been taking my vitamins (Total cereal says it has 100% of my vitamins covered – perhaps it’s all just another lie), but I’ve been sick since Tuesday night. I felt it coming on after leaving the UCA gig. We had the classic no-audience gig for the first time. We were playing a pep rally at UCA (colleges have pep rallies?) and we went on after the peppiness. Evidently there was just enough pep left in everyone to grab their free pizza and evacuate the building. I suspect that the populace of the rally were coerced into attendance by their respective frats and sororities, and once that obligation was fulfilled, they exited post haste. Oh well, we got a paid rehearsal in a big hall. We used the time to goof off as much as possible. I turned my guitar up really loud and played some Steve Vai riffs for my own gratification.

Natalie

And here’s the new bass player for Superflux, Natalie. She’s a jazzer and a pianist, so she’s like a real musician and stuff. She’s the first bassist we’ve had that seems to really lock in with the bizarre sense of humor that Steve, Cara and I exhibit. Not only does she tolerate our dumb (yet often overly erudite) jokes, she openly participates in them. So that’s a real plus. Not to mention that she has pretty much nailed the tunes in just a few weeks’ time. Plus she’s cuter than Phil or Roy. And they’re both handsome men. Not that I’m gay or anything. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

Must Tard

I have 7 containers of mustard in my fridge. 5 if you don’t count honey mustard. How do these things happen?? I know one of the jars I’ve had since college. Mustard doesn’t go bad as far as I know…it just multiplies.

Photo Blogging

Sometimes I like to use Google toolbar as a quick-jump spellchecker. I typed in “applaud” (something still doesn’t look right about it). The number one site that came up: Satan’s Laundromat. As someone who spends a lot of time optimizing sites for search engines, I’m fascinated by the fact that the entire site does not, as far as I can tell, contain the word “applaud.” “Applauding” is in there, but for a site to be number one….there must be some google gremlins at work.

The site is a fantastic photojournal of New York, mainly Brooklyn and Manhattan. There is some good coverage of the recent spate of spontaneous flash mobs in NYC – random gatherings of people in pre-determined locations, wherein the people mill about aimlessly and confuse passersby. What this says about 21st century urban culture I have no idea. Maybe modern people are just bored, and in a city where people avoid eye contact at all costs, I guess it’s good to see that they don’t mind gathering together for no reason whatsoever with other likeminded strangers.

The author also seems to take the same fascination in odd signs and junk that I do, which is all the more reason for me to go get a digital camera and do a right honorable photolog.

Nubility

Heath and Mary Beth are getting married! Like many of our nation’s nubile youth, they’re choosing a low-key, quasi-elopement ceremony devoid of the conventional cultural trappings. Like the Odegards, Parsons and Mumfords before them, they’re getting married on their own terms and eschewing the public eye. It’s easier, it’s less stressful, it’s more intimate…marriage as a sociological event continues to morph as the years pass. Who knows where it will lead? The date is set for October. Next in line: Adnan and Kelly.

Jason Lee is Fletch, dammit.

Jason Lee won't play Fletch in Kevin Smith's Fletch Won. Miramax says he's not big enough to open a movie. Bastards. Kevin's list of contenders now includes: Ben Affleck, Brad Pitt, Will Smith, Jimmy Fallon and Adam Sandler. Each name screams "not good enough" to me except Fallon. But Fallon is even more unproven than Lee, so he's the dark horse candidate. Also, Fallon would have to deal with the Chevy Chase shadow since he's got Chevy's old job already at "Weekend Update."

I bought the out-of-print hardcover of Fletch Won on ebay and I've already read the book with Lee in my mind. It would've been a great flick. Kevin has the script done, but Miramax is so adamant about not having Lee that they'll let the rights lapse if Kevin doesn't comply. The gory details can be found at News Askew August archive (August 13 and 14 entries).

By the way, all the Fletch books are back in print in paperback – I highly recommend them if you like comedy-mysteries I've also read Confess, Fletch. Look in your local bookstore or library under Gregory McDonald.

Ni. Ca.

New Photo Album. Drawn mainly from pictures that have been sitting inside various cameras waiting for their rolls to be filled up. Mostly road pictures from July’s Nashville trip and May’s Dallas trip.

Isn’t this a swell picture of Nica? She’s all orange now. It works.

Nica Murpheee

You are the Bouncers, I am the Cooler

Tonight I discovered the joys of Turner Classic Movies. I watched most of “Witness for the Prosecution” (still on a Billy Wilder kick I guess) and it was great. Plus I dug up an interview with Gregory Peck that’s just beautiful. I need to go get “To Kill a Mockingbird” on DVD.

Last weekend I played a dive called Ultrashock in Levy with my friend Thelton’s band Jacobin Club. The band played from 11 p.m. to 4 a.m. I had to drink a tall cup of EZ Mart coffee to stay awake. Luckily I only played two of the four sets, since they just needed someone to fill in on the songs that required the extra guitar. Their main guitarist recently departed, leaving them only with Andy, who is a keyboardist first and a guitarist second. The venue was…downtrodden. I knew I was in for a fun night when I saw that the soundman had a handgun and Pantera CD on his deck. But it wasn’t as bad as, say, Patrick Swayze’s Road House. But then, what venue can ever aspire to that level of skank? I forget if it was Tom Servo or Crow who was so fond of the line “I’m gonna make you my main Saturday night thing,” but it was my Saturday and Friday night thing last weekend.

Free mix CD to the first person who can tell me to what “Jacobin Club” refers AND tell me the name of the titular road house in which Patrick Swayze was employed. Without looking it up on the Net.