Category: Uncategorized

The Zeitgeist for Spring 2005 is Qwantzing, a process whereby song lyrics are displayed in outline format. I made this one as an example:

Things I want:

• a new drug

Things that this drug should not do:

• make me sick
• make me crash my car
• make me feel three feet thick
• make me nervous, wondering what to do
• spill
• cost too much
• come in a pill
• go away
• keep me up all night
• make me sleep all day
• make me feel too bad
• make me feel too good
• make me talk too much
• make my face freak out

Things that this drug should do:

• make me feel like I feel when I’m with you, when I’m alone with you
• what it should
• have no doubt

The “What Do You Think?” section of The Onion is always a dependable source for incisive commentary. Today’s best example comes from the middle-aged lady, this week known as Joy Mattingly, Designer. She had this to say about Condoleezza Rice’s confirmation as Secretary of State:

“Twenty years ago, I never would’ve believed that we’d have a black, female Secretary of State, much less one who was a conservative warmonger, too. We’ve come a long way.”

In other news, happy 50th birthday to Eddie Van Halen. Ed, I can’t say enough great things about your abilities as an innovative player and composer. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then you’re the most flattered guitarist in the world. I do wish you’d quit smoking and drinking, though; if you’re lucky you’ll live to look like Keith Richards, and who wants that?

Ain’t nuthin’ wrong with that.

"He should lighten up…I mean, my mom was a bitch too, but I don’t go writing songs about it."
– Triumph the Insult Comic Dog on Eminem