I always admired “Wired” as a name for a magazine dedicated to tech nerds of all stripes, because of the slight double meaning: anyone who’s up on technology and enthusiastic about the latest greatest developments therein is probably someone who is plugged in, electrified and…caffeinated. As usual, Mark Morford says it better than I in his recent column, “Let’s All Get ADD!

Speaking of caffeine, have I ranted lately about 20 oz. sodas? The 12 oz. can of soda is an endangered species these days at convenience stores and vending machines as companies have realized they can stick it to us by selling us more beverage than we need for twice the price. It’s absolutely insidious. They know we want caffeine and that we’ve probably got a dollar, but nevermind the fact that 20 oz. is more than any human needs to consume in one sitting. Yet this is the only choice kids have in schools and recreation centers across America. And at convenience stores the cans, if they’re there, are usually at the very top where kids can’t reach them. Is it any wonder we’re a nation of fatsos? I actually feel like starting some kind of petition but what a crappy cause to take up when there’s so much else to worry about in the world – we have too much sugar! Too much sweet beveragey goodness! Oh the humanity! Damn youse corporations for forcing my cup to runneth over with bubbly deliciousness! How do you sleep at night?!

I say all this while maintaining my position that Coke® remains perhaps the single greatest beverage man has yet devised for all ages to consume. I limit myself to no more than one can a day [1], but these companies are making it so difficult. Perhaps they’ll get regulated a la the tobacco industry someday? I scoff at the libertarians and conservatives who say that unregulated business will spontaneously regulate themselves into market balance – The Coca-Cola Company being the perfect example of a sneaky corporation that seduces us almost subconsciously into paying more for what we don’t need.

1.) Except in cases where I’ve been to the movies and have no other choice but to purchase the rural-water-tower-size cup.

3 thoughts on “Wired”

  1. Psychic twin! I ranted about the very same thing yesterday. I have been surviving on very little sleep all week and yesterday, propelled by an overwhelming need for caffeine, I rolled through the Burger King drive-through while speeding to class. I share your love of Coke, of course, but rarely drink it for obvious reasons. Yesterday, however, I was beyond desperate. I politely asked for a small Coke and was quickly informed that Burger King does not have a “small” anything. So I opted for the medium that cost over a dollar and found it to be the size of what I would ordinarily consider a large. Insanity! We are not even given the option to “drink responsibly.” So, yes. I feel your pain. This Burger King incident forced me to rant about food portion sizes and the 20 oz. soft drink for the remainder of the afternoon.

  2. I couldn’t agree more. When I was growing up, cokes were ‘special’ and we didn’t keep them in the house, so luckily I am not battling the addiction of several a day like many of my peers…its even scarier working with little kids, some of whom Only drink soft drinks. Ugh. Their little kidneys 🙁

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