On the Presidency

The media seem legitimately surprised that Giuliani and Romney performed so poorly in the primaries that they dropped out. Am I the only person who knew neither of them had a chance? This country had a hard enough time electing a Catholic in the 60’s; it will be a long time to never before we elect a Mormon. And a New York City mayor? That might impress the East Coast, but that’s not going to impress the rest of America, especially given his checkered personal life as well as his consorting with thugs like Bernard Kerik (which you have to admit, is almost a pre-requisite for running New York City).

Everybody thought McCain was down for the count, now it’s him and…Huckabee? OK, Huck I seriously didn’t see coming, but it makes sense for the evangelical voters left in Romney’s vaccum. And Huckabee, interestingly enough, seems to have almost as much oratorial charisma as Obama.

If there’s one underlying lesson here, it’s that America loves a flyover land candidate. Clinton, Obama, Huckabee, and McCain are not east coasters. Clinton gets to have the best of both worlds in that she’s technically a Southerner and a New Yorker. Both George Bushes managed to have it both ways as well by fooling people into thinking they’re a Texas family, when in fact they were born, raised and schooled in Massachusetts and Connecticut.

So the formula for a presidential candidate is: flyover land + charisma = candidacy. It also helps to have a compelling narrative (McCain the war hero, Bill Clinton the poor boy done good), but that’s not a necessity. Lord knows it didn’t work for John Kerry. By the way, I think Hillary Clinton gets some narrative charisma by proxy from Bill.

The formula is so tried and true that it’s working for a woman and a black man. So far, it looks like Obama’s superior charisma may win him the Democratic nomination.

If nothing else, I’m excited that not one of the candidates appears to be a drooling moron who can’t so much as conjugate a verb without a script.

This Just In: Romney endorses McCain, because Romney sure ain’t gonna do Huckabee any favors.

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