About two years ago around this time someone said to me that she liked the fact that I had no expectations. We were in the early days of our relationship then and while I’m still not entirely sure what she meant by that, I suspect it had something to do with me not expecting us to be doing certain things or for either of us to be fulfilling a particular role. We just acted naturally and were comfortable with whatever came our way. No pressure, no requirements, just a relaxed pace to our time together.
Unnecessary expectations may be tied to the appealing assumptions we make regarding someone to whom we know we are attracted but do not fully know.
Once the boyfriend/girlfriend exclusivity threshold has been passed, we assign different standards of behavior to the other person. These are expectations, and they vary from person to person. Perhaps it was the case that I had only the most essential expectations for our relationship: thou shalt not mug down with others, and thou shalt show affection often. Some people may extend these to more complex rules and regulations: thou shalt always call me at least twice daily, thou shalt have sex with me nightly.
Relationships work best when there is balance, and a balance of expectations is essential. However, for those of you who may find yourself discontent in your dealings with others (romantic or otherwise), examine your expectations and make sure they aren’t the problem.
Do I sound too much like Dr. Phil? I’m sorry. I just write this stuff as it comes and try not to judge it. Also a good way to approach a relationship…
1.) Maybe I wasn’t being pushy for sex.