New Plog

I can only get so much done in my hour-long lunch break. Here’s a new plog. If I write in this journal less frequently, then it only serves to indicate that I have a life and I’m living it rather than writing about it. At least that’s what I’ll keep telling myself.

Finally Back

The European vacation travelogue is here. It took most of last Saturday to complete, so that alone is reason enough to peruse its 7 pages of trippy goodness.

Sunday I made up for lost time by having a fine lunch outdoors at Pizza Cafe courtesy of Heather. Then she, Carter, and Liz and I went to the park to play a low-impact round of frisbee before giving up and just sitting somewhere. We then went to Shakey’s for frosty custard things, and Barnes & Noble. Shortly thereafter Heather and I joined up with Brian and John Mumford (did I mention the Mumfords are now on their vacation in the States?) to go over to Matt’s house to smash things. Have I mentioned the Smashing of Things? This was the second time we gathered at Matt’s to destroy old computer hardware – a monitor, a server – a la Office Space. It’s great fun. Hopefully we can do it regularly. After that, Heather and I went to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind which I highly recommend.

I further recommend, nay, implore that you attend, a screening of Kevin Smith’s new film, Jersey Girl. Kev has done some of his best work and I think people may assume that Ben Affleck’s presence equals bomb, but they are mistaken. This movie needs to make money, people, so hop to it. Natalie and I went to see it Monday night and it’s great – no stoner gags or comic book fanboy lingo, either, just a straight-up funny flick about being a parent.

Last night I went for a nice walk up the street and stopped off at the video store where I picked up a Flying Circus tape that contained the original versions of Argument Clinic and Spanish Inquisition. Delightful.

From Merrie England

Thanks to the wonders of anonymous FTP (and my meager skills coding with Notepad – the Right Way), I’m typing this to you from the Mumford flat at Fernthorpe Road in South London. I have a bit of free time, as motivating Tara to rise and bathe has proved to be a near Herculean task. We were going to meet Angel at noon, but that quickly became logistically impossible so we moved it back to 2pm. Currently the weather cannot decide if it wants to be rainy or sunny – a dilemma with which it wrangles frequently. Last night I saw Michael Manring play at the Troubadour. Solo bass guitar – bloody marvelous (yes, I type British as well as speak it). Hopefully today I will meet up with Jan Cyrka as well.

Guess what? I bought yet another guitar. I had free time in Dallas before meeting up with Tara, so I stopped off at one of the large pawn shops in Dallas. And there it was, a black Ibanez RG7621 7-string (exactly the same model as I own, but I had mine painted all swirly). The price tag: $150. Mind you I bought my RG a few years ago on ebay for $400. They listed for around $700 as I recall. And if my father instilled anything in me, he gave me a congenital disability to pass up a good deal. So I bought it. No case, so I asked if I could take some tools with the deal. They had a big table full of crusty tools from which I took wire cutters, a screwdriver and a hammer (I needed a hammer for the apartment and I needed the screwdriver in case I had to take the neck off to stick the instrument in my backpack). I then moved on to my rendezvous point at Guitar Center where I purchased a cleaning kit and some strings. I sat in the GC parking lot clipping off the strings and cleaning off the caked layers of finger muck. The guitar was made in 1999, and clearly had not been cleaned since. Eventually we got to the airport and I inquired about closet space for the instrument, and there was room to be found. So naturally I had to surrender my wire cutters and screwdriver to the nice security people. Oh well, they were free. So there I was walking around airports with my luggage and my stringless guitar. And did I mention that British Airways absolutely rules? They have the best in-flight meals and the best entertainment options – multiple movie channels, multiple audio channels. Mostly I listened to the best of REM, the Best of Tori Amos, and Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumours.”

I went to the Tate Modern Gallery yesterday to witness the last days of the Weather Project. It is an amazing sight to witness, as were the Picassos and Rodins and Pollocks. We capped the day with a fine dinner atop the museum.

Aside from all the things to do and see, I’m mostly just enjoying being back in London. It still feels comfortable and familiar. Maybe I’ll tell you more as the week progresses.

Because Every Little Bit Counts

If you need air conditioning in Dallas, Dring is the place. They rule. Also, if you need storm windows in Texas, DYC is the manufacturer to talk to. If you need commercial insurance in Arkansas, or an Arkansas insurance consultant, the Grace Group can help. If by some chance you’re looking for somebody in the Fort Lauderdale plastic surgery arena, Dr. Wigoda is the man. In Houma, Louisiana, boats are best bought at G & F Sporting. Should you happen to find yourself in Tennessee looking for a duck hunting guide on Reelfoot Lake, talk to Don Finch. And if you want to have a wedding in Arkansas and need a scenic wedding chapel, the Old Mill Chapel is quite nice.

These are just things I thought you people should know.

Return of the Son of Plog

New plog. My weekend was fun. I’m looking into buying a house. I don’t know if I’m ready for all the extra expenses. There’s a really great house on Woodrow near my place. $105,000, though. Do I make enough money for that? Nervousness defines me lately. This is such a big thing.

Don’t Trust Leviticus

If anyone tries to use Leviticus as proof that homosexuality is wrong, compare these two lines:

Leviticus 11:9 – “If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable.”

Leviticus 20:13 – “Anything living in the water that does not have fins and scales is to be detestable to you.”

So if homosexuality is wrong, then God Hates Shrimp.

This is a truly great source for Bible verses.

Google Boondoggle and Meeting the Parents

Evidently Google has started smoking crack. The ranks for a lot of my clients appear to be based on CrackRank™ technology, whereby the #1 position is determined by a blindfolded monkey who has been spun around several times in the dark.

Friday night I met Natalie’s family for a big steak dinner at their place. They’re a fun bunch. Just as friendly and offbeat and smart and talented as she is, which only makes sense I suppose. The food was fantastic and afterward we adjourned to the living room for music and relaxation. Apparently everyone in the family plays an instrument – Natalie played some piano, her mom played as well, along with Natalie’s brother James on soprano sax. Maybe I’ve not been to enough homes, but I feel like this sort of familial merriment just doesn’t happen much anymore.

And her dad gave me Costa Rican beer. In fact I don’t recall any non-specialty beer in their fridge. Which is really nice.

Hot Topic, Spam Poetry, and Summit Mall

Lots of little things today. First among them – new plog.

Second, Simon Properties is giving up on the Summit Mall concept. For 15 years they’ve been wanting to develop a huge new mall in West Little Rock despite traffic concerns (they wanted an exit on a bypass, but the point of having a bypass is that pass by something, not be used as an arterial), and protest from citizens (particularly those around the University corridor that houses Park Plaza Mall and University Mall, both of which would die horrible deaths in Summit’s wake, no to mention the fact that we’ve got plenty of malls already around here). I myself spent some time working with the Little Rock New Party to raise peoples’ awareness of the thing – putting out petitions and flyers and such. So this news is an incredible sigh of relief for a lot of people.

Third, remember when I mentioned the random-word spams I’ve been getting? Well now the spammers have already progressed into random sentences. It’s almost becoming a form of artificial intelligence. Here’s a sample work entitled “drunk soccer moms”:

Any soft silver boots is on fire.
Any given well-crafted sloppy pencil arrives.
A given red balloon stares.
The beautiful camera lies the time that their white small bed is angry.
A beautiful silver round bottle walks.
Mine fancy book fidgeting.
Any given round purple bottle smiles.
Our children silver computer calculates.
Their silver clock adheres however, the silver smart green round-shaped printer stares.
Their well-crafted balloon prepare for fight as soon as his brothers noisy green paper smells.
Her daughters golden ram adheres.
A given round-shaped book lies.
Mine well-crafted mobile phone lies.
A expensive clock prepare for fight.
Any red hairy under wares calms-down and still any
given beautiful gun smiles.

This was preceded by a link to what I can only assume was pornography. Soccer-moms.biz, for those who dare.

Sixth and lastly, I went to Hot Topic in the mall recently. That store continues to bend my perceptions and blur the line between kitschy irony and legitimate nostalgia. I don’t know if their funky 80’s t-shirts are intended to be statements of irony to be laughed at or part of some actual reverence for things past. Possibly both? Ironic yet sincere? Is that possible? This paradox is further compounded by the fact that the store seems to position itself as the anti-conformity conformity store.

I went there to get a Yo! MTV Raps shirt, but it only came in red, so I bought a Homer Simpson/Mr. Sparkle shirt instead. If you haven’t seen the Simpsons Mr. Sparkle episode, you haven’t lived.

I also went to Sam Goody and bought another big $50 CD shelf. Finally I have room for all my crap!