Radio Radio

John Lee is a genius. He’s the morning guy on FM 101.1 The River, the only radio station in Little Rock that I can stand. He’s probably better known to the rest of the world as Amy Lee‘s dad. I’ve met him a few times; he would come to the music store I used to work at in Maumelle. Great guy. Anyway, he’s one of the few DJ’s here that can still create his own playlist on the fly. He’s not limited to the same damn 20 songs over and over; a consequence of the station’s format: oldies. If the weather is rainy, he’ll play rainy day songs (this may sound like a given for older folks but today that kind of freedom is unfortunately rare in radio). Yesterday morning as the torrential rainstorm was coming down, John was reading a spot for some roofers, and I thought to myself, “you know, John, you should play ‘Fixing a Hole’ by the Beatles right now.”

And he did.

Your Vanity is Illin Me (Only Trina Will Get That Reference)

I have a few clients in the plastic surgery field, and as I was checking their search engine ranks I ran across Larger Breasts dot com. You’ll have to see the site to believe it – it’s for a breast enlargement pill called Vanity™.

I just enjoyed the fact that the pill was named after the appropriate character trait, or in this case, deadly sin (also called Pride, depending who you ask). I had to wonder what pills might be available under the names Sloth (downers), Wrath (uppers), Lust (Viagra), Envy (Viagra?), Greed (cocaine?) and Gluttony (Phentermine, or maybe Dexatrim?).

Semi-Narcissism

Here’s a recent self-portrait, taken purely to impress The 655 Mile Woman

Red Sweater

I had a good weekend. Saturday I met up with a girl from San Diego who found me on MySpace.com. She was looking for cool people to hang out with while she’s in Arkansas for an art show and to see her parents in Hot Springs. Her name is Meredith, and she’s friends with The Old 97’s and the Samples, so she has some fun stories. I took her to Vino’s and Damgoode Pies and played a ton of CDs for her. She’s here
for a couple of weeks so we’ll hang out again soon, probably to see some films at the Hot Springs Documentary Film Festival.

Then Sunday night I went out to meet a lawyer named Sarah. We had a good time, so we’ll probably go see a movie or something soon, too.

Man, months of nothing and then two dates in a weekend. It’s almost like having a life. Tonight: laundry! Tomorrow night: Norah Jones at Alltel Arena with Heather.

The Liberal Media at Work

OK this is pretty sick:

Sinclair Broadcast Group, owner of the largest chain of television stations in the nation, plans to air a documentary that accuses Sen. John Kerry of betraying American prisoners during the Vietnam War, a newspaper reported Monday.

The network has ordered all 62 of its stations to air “Stolen Honor: Wounds That Never Heal” without commercials in prime-time next week, the Washington Post said, just two weeks before the Nov. 2 election.

More on the liberal media here.

Now, I’m all for equal time for candidates and an informed electorate, but the only way to balance this thing out would be for them to run leftist propaganda like Fahrenheit 9/11. Either way, it would seem illegal that the head of the chain can just order network affiliates to run programming whenever he wants. These are network affiliates who have agreements with their networks and their own local programming already scheduled months in advance. Now they’re being forced to air something because their whack-job top brass gets a wild hair and decides they want to air something? This is a gross abuse of power.

In other news, Jacques Derrida and Superman died over the weekend. So without the Nietzschean über-mensch and the father of Deconstructionism, what ever will modern philosophy do?

Why Are You So Prevented?

The other day I received a message from a Brazilian guy asking me for an Orkut invitation. Evidently I’m not the only person that received this message, because logging into Orkut I see that not only has this guy joined, but he’s already got 369 people on his Friends list (by way of comparison, I have 16). He must have done some serious hitting of the virtual bricks to get invited. Here’s the message I got from him today, in beautifully broken English.

Hello, this is an global message:

1) To: my new friends:
Thank you for invite me to your friend’s list at http://orkut.com.
I’ll be your friend forever. A star shine already illuminates
you. Sorry, I’m unable to reply your messages at this
time. Reason: I have 5,560 emails in my GMAIL inbox.
The same as my Orkut account. I will contact you personally
as soon as possible.

2) To: people that has asked me if i know you:
Not, i`m just a human looking for friends. Are you human? Why are you so prevented? Please add me to yours friends list.

Best,
JE

“It’s love, not life, the opposite of dead

I think it’s good for all of us to occasionally take a step back and ask ourselves why we are so prevented.

Spam Poetry

I got this in my inbox today. Not sure what the text has to do with the subject line, which was “Remove your bills the Christian way” from sender “Christian bill removers”:

Consult an expert for help. Yesterday you were thinking about what could be — now you focus on what is. The effects of a mutual display of affection will be long-lasting. You wonder why others make such elaborate plans when life can be this easy.

Yesterday you were thinking about what could be — now you focus on what is. Expect to either impress someone or to be very impressed by someone. Take steps to discard the old and embrace the new. Quick thinking gets you out of a tough spot.

You are in a very industrious and creative cycle that will bring you profits and satisfaction. You are in a very industrious and creative cycle that will bring you profits and satisfaction. Avoid opposition for a little while. Issues with family and friends will be hard to resolve.

You will gain confidence in your abilities if you say no to those wanting you to do for them instead of for yourself. The more creatively you launch yourself. Creativity is not just a process of invention. It can also be a mode of relaxation. A better future is on the way. Take it slow and you’ll have a better chance of winning approval.

Sounds like random fortune cookie sayings mashed together. So be sure to add "in bed" to all the above sentences, to make this post significantly less boring.

Cotton Moon

Today’s Plog features a trip to scenic Scott, Arkansas, and last night’s moonrise. Whenever a full moon rises and it appears larger than normal, for some reason it flips the switches on a part of my brain that demands I give all my attention to the sky. I first saw the rising orb last night on my way back to the laundromat. I immediately ran around trying to get a good angle to shoot from but I was bound to the ground and all its horribly intrusive artificial light sources, and of course those blasted trees. So I drove up the hill from my apartment to Knoop Park and took pictures there.

It was pitch black with only the lights of the city and the moon to guide me so I had to watch my steps closely. While I was making my way down to the park, I encountered three people on the park’s stone terrace reading aloud from the book of Genesis. Making my way down to the lower patio, there was a man and his son looking at the cityscape. The boy was about 4 I guess and he was asking questions like what’s the difference between Arkansas and Little Rock, and the dad was explaining everything about everything. All the while I was taking pictures of the sky. The boy asked me why I wasn’t taking more pictures of the city and the best I could say was, “because the city’s always there.”

This Is Where I’m From, Part II

Actual items from the Harrison Daily Times Police Beat:

• A man went to the HPD about 9:30 Saturday morning to get information about churches that might help him with lodging for a few days. The man was arrested on a Berryville warrant for failure to appear in court with bond set at $1,060. He was later released to Berryville police. [ed. note: Berryville is about 30 miles from Harrison]

• Sunday afternoon, a woman called the HPD and said a recliner was in the southbound lane of U.S. 62/65 at the traffic signal near Home Depot. Officers responded, but the recliner was gone on arrival.

• About 8:45 a.m., a Dairy Queen employee called Harrison Police and said a naked man was in a vehicle in the drive-through. The owners declined to press charges against the man, but officers made contact with him and told him he'd be cited for criminal trespassing if he returned.

For those who may have missed it, here’s Part I of Where I’m From.

A Modest Proposal

I have…interesting feet. They are sensitive but by no means tender. Raised in rural Arkansas, I have done my share of barefooted living, so I can walk over most anything without major pain. Yet I find that when I walk barefoot I can feel everything intensely. One of the best parts of my day is taking off my shoes when I get home.

I took a walk barefoot outside the office today, and it was great. I started to wonder if shoes in the modern world might be obsolete. Think about this for a moment: shoes were invented a few millennia ago for terrain far more treacherous than the modern world generally provides. How many times in your day do you walk over patches of spiky branches or sharp rocks? Mostly we walk from house to car to building, and it’s a relatively safe and clean path. It might be hot or rough, but this is likely only because our feet are so sensitive from being cooped up in socks and shoes all our lives. Sure the ground is generally unclean, but which is more clean to you – dirt and dust or sweat and fungus? I think my feet smell far worse when they’ve been wrapped in a sock for 9 hours.

Sadly, though, the modern world poses a different set of threats: oil and other chemical toxins. Your average McDonald’s parking lot is probably far more dangerous to the bare foot than any forest. Still, I know that in my daily trek between house, car and office I encounter no major podiatric dangers. For white collar office workers it could happen.

Just something to think about. Go barefoot more often and see what you prefer.