If anyone tries to use Leviticus as proof that homosexuality is wrong, compare these two lines:
Leviticus 11:9 – “If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable.”
Leviticus 20:13 – “Anything living in the water that does not have fins and scales is to be detestable to you.”
So if homosexuality is wrong, then God Hates Shrimp.
This is a truly great source for Bible verses.
Lots of little things today. First among them – new plog.
Second, Simon Properties is giving up on the Summit Mall concept. For 15 years they’ve been wanting to develop a huge new mall in West Little Rock despite traffic concerns (they wanted an exit on a bypass, but the point of having a bypass is that pass by something, not be used as an arterial), and protest from citizens (particularly those around the University corridor that houses Park Plaza Mall and University Mall, both of which would die horrible deaths in Summit’s wake, no to mention the fact that we’ve got plenty of malls already around here). I myself spent some time working with the Little Rock New Party to raise peoples’ awareness of the thing – putting out petitions and flyers and such. So this news is an incredible sigh of relief for a lot of people.
Third, remember when I mentioned the random-word spams I’ve been getting? Well now the spammers have already progressed into random sentences. It’s almost becoming a form of artificial intelligence. Here’s a sample work entitled “drunk soccer moms”:
Any soft silver boots is on fire.
Any given well-crafted sloppy pencil arrives.
A given red balloon stares.
The beautiful camera lies the time that their white small bed is angry.
A beautiful silver round bottle walks.
Mine fancy book fidgeting.
Any given round purple bottle smiles.
Our children silver computer calculates.
Their silver clock adheres however, the silver smart green round-shaped printer stares.
Their well-crafted balloon prepare for fight as soon as his brothers noisy green paper smells.
Her daughters golden ram adheres.
A given round-shaped book lies.
Mine well-crafted mobile phone lies.
A expensive clock prepare for fight.
Any red hairy under wares calms-down and still any
given beautiful gun smiles.
This was preceded by a link to what I can only assume was pornography. Soccer-moms.biz, for those who dare.
Sixth and lastly, I went to Hot Topic in the mall recently. That store continues to bend my perceptions and blur the line between kitschy irony and legitimate nostalgia. I don’t know if their funky 80’s t-shirts are intended to be statements of irony to be laughed at or part of some actual reverence for things past. Possibly both? Ironic yet sincere? Is that possible? This paradox is further compounded by the fact that the store seems to position itself as the anti-conformity conformity store.
I went there to get a Yo! MTV Raps shirt, but it only came in red, so I bought a Homer Simpson/Mr. Sparkle shirt instead. If you haven’t seen the Simpsons Mr. Sparkle episode, you haven’t lived.
I also went to Sam Goody and bought another big $50 CD shelf. Finally I have room for all my crap!
I’ve recently noticed that VH-1 has gone the MTV route: no videos, all programming. The VH-1 format now appears to be entirely pop culture/nostalgia shows. Mostly I see “I love the 80’s,” and now I see they even have a show that treats last week like it was nostalgia, “The Best Week Ever.” It has the same format as “I Love the 80’s,” which involves B-list and C-list celebrities reading scripted commentary about stuff. To quote Max from Kicking and Screaming:
“I’m nostalgic for conversations I had yesterday. I’ve begun reminiscing events before they even occur. I’m reminiscing this right now.”
I’ve just discovered that this is called nanonostalgia. So evidently that is what VH-1 is trading in with “The Best Week Ever.”
I think I’m finally coming out my weird illness. Hopefully it will be gone tomorrow. I was worried that I might have to actually see a doctor. Which means I’d have to find a doctor. Which I should probably do anyway because I haven’t had a checkup in a very long time. Which means I probably have a brain tumor or something. I stayed inactive for the entire weekend. Saturday was OK; Natalie and I had a nice lazy day – she brought me food and meds and we watched “Better Off Dead” and listened to music. Sunday I did even less. I did manage to make it to the laundromat, though, if only for a few loads.
Meanwhile the rest of the US was, in their heart of hearts, actually deeply excited by Janet Jackson’s exposed breast. The more hue and cry raised, the more turned on people were and didn’t want to admit it. I’ve found that the more offended people are, the more insecure they are in their own feelings. Personally, I found Mike Ditka’s commercial discussing his erection to be far, far, far more disgraceful and disgusting. I also noticed that there were not one, but two companies hawking erectile dysfunction medication. This speaks volumes about the target market of the Super Bowl to me.
Powdered Non-Dairy Creamer is the Devil.
I’ve only recently come to this rather obvious conclusion. After years of wondering why office coffee was always unsatisfying, I decided to invest in some half and half. The difference is ASTOUNDING! The buttery joys of liquid creamer are myriad, and now my morning coffee will improve my day even more.
While I realize that typing this sort of microscopic irrelevancy into an online journal for others to read would ordinarily be categorized as an example of the narcissism that gives blogging a bad name, I really have to say that this does change my life in a small yet significant way. It’s just another example of how many big fat "DUH’s" a man of my age can still encounter in his daily life. Ignorance continues to run rampant through all our lives, and I am by no means any exception.
Lots of work being done on the site right now – so please let me know if you find any bugs. Check out the fancy new left navigation.
Last night, Natalie fed me chocolate toffee cookies and Chinese beer while giving me a back rub. Life should always be that good. Then we went to Barnes and Noble to goof off and read. After that, dinner at Chi’s, where she asked to speak to the owner about a particular painting there that she really enjoyed. So the owner came out and told us the story. These are the sorts of things people just don’t do very often. Most people don’t even notice restaurant artwork, much less ask the waiter to ask the owner about it. I’m consistently reluctant to talk to people I don’t know. Natalie has no such limitations.
Speaking of people without limits, I’ve recently discovered that Albert Einstein’s path through science appears to have led him to a very Buddhist place:
“My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.”
“A man’s ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.”
“A human being is a part of a whole, called by us ‘universe’, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest…a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”
This has to be one of the freakiest coincidences ever to occur in my life. My brother Trey was brainstorming for fundraising ideas for the Arkansas AIDS Foundation that he helms, and he came up with a charity debate between Ben Stein and Al Franken.
That was two months ago.
Today I received this from Arkansas Business.
There has to be a connection. It’s too astronomical to comprehend otherwise. Not that they’re debating, but that they’re doing it in Arkansas.
On a similar track, a few months ago I thought it would be cool if John Mayer were to do something with Double Trouble, since he’s such an SRV fan. Then I found out about this.
So it would seem that the McCorkindale brothers are somewhat clairvoyant.
Some random comments:
I find it ironic that the word “monosyllabic” has 5 syllables.
If you find yourself wondering, “what the hell is the Fibonacci series?” Well, now you can find out: http://www.textism.com/bucket/fib.html
Taco Bell has done something I never thought I’d see a major fast food chain do: they improved their product without increasing the price, and actually improved the healthiness of it by a smidgen. They’ve introduced the “Fresco” style of their products – which entails replacing cheese with a light salsa. So instead of cheese, you essentially get diced tomatoes. Hoo-Ra! They’re marketing it as a lower-fat, healthier option, which, as a statement from Taco Bell, is almost too ironic to exist.
Their website even has a nutritional chart. Somehow I think this might someday become admissible court evidence in another “Your company made me fat” case, but I’m glad to have it.
Also, never buy squeezable jelly. Squeezing the jelly from its container is an unnecessarily laborious process. The visual and auditory similarities to certain rectal expulsion processes is too great to be ignored, thus thoroughly ruining any appetite one may have previously had.
Everything has changed. Strange roads, stops, starts, unfamiliar landmarks…even my destination has been profoundly altered. I work in a different place. My office is now located in an entirely different area, requiring me to find a new route to work, and to deal with the limitations of my new workspace. Change is inevitable, and with everything that is gained, something is lost. Previously we were cramped for space and the neighboring office’s ambient noise was often distracting. Now we have far more space than we need, and the silence is deafening. Worst of all, I no longer work in a room with windows. I do, however, have an enormous amount of dining and errand-running options nearby compared to the old place, which was in close proximity to nothing of civilized consequence.
So I now find myself doing the same job, the same activities, in a new space. It’s a lot like having a new job. I’m still trying to find the best path from home to work and back. I think I’ve got it figured out – the most direct route is least often the quickest; and it looks like driving home will need to be a different route from driving to work. North Little Rock is a maze of senseless design and bumpy terrain. It may take a couple of days to refine, but for the most part I will still enjoy the simple pleasures of driving in the opposite direction of everyone else.
Perhaps tomorrow the plumbing will be turned on and we can stop walking to the Laman Public Library to use the bathroom. Only then will some semblance of normalcy return to my life. That, and the purchase of a microwave and a coffee maker.
I have 7 containers of mustard in my fridge. 5 if you don’t count honey mustard. How do these things happen?? I know one of the jars I’ve had since college. Mustard doesn’t go bad as far as I know…it just multiplies.
Evidently I’m subconsciously trying to emulate Doyle Bramhall II.
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Should I shave the mini-goatee/"soul patch"?