Area Satire Website Nails It Again

The “What Do You Think?” section of The Onion is always a dependable source for incisive commentary. Today’s best example comes from the middle-aged lady, this week known as Joy Mattingly, Designer. She had this to say about Condoleezza Rice’s confirmation as Secretary of State:

“Twenty years ago, I never would’ve believed that we’d have a black, female Secretary of State, much less one who was a conservative warmonger, too. We’ve come a long way.”

In other news, happy 50th birthday to Eddie Van Halen. Ed, I can’t say enough great things about your abilities as an innovative player and composer. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then you’re the most flattered guitarist in the world. I do wish you’d quit smoking and drinking, though; if you’re lucky you’ll live to look like Keith Richards, and who wants that?

Eddie Van